Untitled, deal with it!
Click to enlarge�We can do it. My herpes is in remission.� I actually said that to someone yesterday. Then I was informed herpes doesn�t go into remission, it is active or not active. I guess I just don�t have enough real life herpes experience.
If you�re like me, you think everyone likes, no they l-o-v-e you. This weekend I was informed an acquaintance of mine doesn�t like me. He is an acquaintance because I only see him a few times a year and because he is a fat dumb bastard for holding me any ill will.
I don�t like it when people don�t like me, especially if I haven�t done anything to them. I could understand it if I slept with your old lady or pissed all over your bed while dancing a jig in your mother�s granny panties or even if I ate some of your soggy French fries when you were being distracted by two circus midgets performing a scene from Hamlet, but I did nothing in this case, so I am very dismayed.
From what I was able to gather from intelligence supplied to me by my network of spies otherwide known as some of my other friends, P.O., we call him that because he told us to, is mad at me because I didn�t help him with his virus ridden PC.
First point to make, I did help. I talked him through inoculating his porn box of its digitally transmitted STD step-by-step over the phone. But because the silly monkey can�t follow directions he wanted me to get of my ass and head on over to his place to fix it. If you know me, you know I get off my ass for no man. Besides, I was really going through some poop when all this transpired. In short, it was last summer and I was living by myself in a cramped, over priced apartment, I�ve been married for almost 7 yrs. I wasn�t in the mood to go anywhere or do anything during that period. In fact, my usually alcohol drenched evenings were on the shelf for quite some time and the only thing that brought me out of my hole was work and the occasional fried mystery meat full of life supporting nutrients.
Seeing as that was almost a year ago, I kind of wish he might have said, �Hey jackass, I hate you, you stupid mother f(*&er,� but since he didn�t I had no idea this whole time he was secretly plotting to thwart my plans for world domination. I could explain the situation to him and beg for his forgiveness, but I think I will just have him killed while he sleeps. It�s less work.
Until next time kids,
j
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