Lickit then Stickit!
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It has come to my attention through the magical powers of TV, Radio and Print that it is against the law to not wear a seat belt and you could get a ticket if you are caught. I will go into this new phenomenon shortly, but first I have to tell you a little story that just happened on my way back from lunch.
I was on my way back from lunch, see told you, when the strangest thing happened. OK, so it probably wasn�t the strangest thing, but odd just the same. I was walking down an ally back towards the office building that houses my company. A man hops out of a car parked nearby and starts walking my way. He�s one of those guys that got his haircut back in the late 80�s and never got it cut again and because he is middle-aged his hair stopped growing a few years later and now he just brushes it to make it soft and silky. You know this cut, you�ve seen it on many auto mechanics in your day, and it�s not a mullet, it kind of looks like this guy�s:
He kind of throws me a look as he struts past me and around a nearby dumpster, where he stops, drops his pants, and proceeds to start pissing all over the dumpster and wall of the adjacent building.
The first thing I thought about was lunging at him and smashing his head against the brick before I start rubbing his face in his own filth for not walking across the street to use the restroom in the Osco drug. Since I am a non-confrontational gentleman, I just shot him my patented look of disgust and walked on by instead.
To my surprise, as I did a Cop all dressed in his finest came walking towards me from the far end of the ally. I shot him a nod that said, �Hey, this vagrant fuckwad is over here pissing all over the place.� He returned the nod as if to say, �He is? I am gonna beat the hell out of that guy, shoot him with my stun gun, take his clothes off, put a bag over his head, and take naked pictures of him while dogs nip at his nut bag.� Right on, I thought, this guy is about to get his.
I couldn�t have been more wrong. The sound of urine still flowing through the ally and Johnnie Law ignored it and walked past on his leisurely stroll to the doughnut shop or gimp store or wherever else these fucks go on their down time. Why is it every time I look funny at one of our boys in blue they write me a multi-hundred dollar ticket and skins sacks like Mr. Pisser get a pass?
Back to seat belts. Why are our cash strapped law enforcement agencies spending ass loads of cash on an ad campaign informing us that it is the law to where your seat belt? It�s been that way for nearly damn 20 yrs. When�s the last time they haven�t written a ticket for someone not wearing a seat belt? Warnings my ass.
Until next time kids,
j
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