Out with the Old!
First, a brief commercial break.
At last a bright new future is here!
It�s time to ask your doctor if GERIANIDE is right for you!
GERIANIDE is a prescription medicine used to treat geriatric problems, such as forgetfulness, blindness, uselessness, and all other ailments related to aging. In studies, 4 out of every 5 people taking GERIANIDE resulted in fewer burdens on society, versus 1 out of 4 on sugar pills. GERIANIDE helps correct geriatrics no matter how long you've had it, what caused it, or how old you are.
Remember that no medicine is for everyone. Only your doctor can prescribe GERIANIDE for you. If you use other prescription drugs, often used to control ailments such as chest pain (also known as angina), arthritis, high cholesterol, low blood sugar, erectile dysfunction, anal condyloma, vaginal warts, and other ailment associated with aging you should take GERIANIDE. Taking GERIANIDE could cause your bowel control to drop to an unsafe or life-threatening level. Be sure to ask your doctor if your heart is healthy enough for sexual activity. Sexual activity with those taking GERIANIDE is not recommended and may be a felony in most states.
The most common side effects of GERIANIDE are headache, facial flushing, upset stomach, vaginal bleeding, anal leakage, the uncontrollable urge to flatuate, and in most cases death. Less commonly, bluish testicles, blurred vision, or sensitivity to light may briefly occur.
If you experience chest pain, nausea, or any other discomforts during sex or an erection that lasts longer than 4 hours, seek immediate participation from the opposite sex. Remember to protect yourself and your partner from sexually transmitted diseases.
Now back to our regularly scheduled program.
In case you haven�t caught on, I don�t like, no I hate, old people. They are incessant burdens on our society and they divert the resources and focus of the younger generations.
Here�s what I purpose for those over 60:
You should be required to take annual driving tests. If you fail you can NOT retake the exam, ever.
Prescription drugs and medicare/Medicaid can no longer be an issue in elections. We realize you old fuckers are falling apart, but that doesn�t mean we should pay for all your medicine that only counter acts the side effects of all the other medicines you are taking.
You can not sue companies for the 50 years you�ve been smoking and otherwise mistreating your body.
God never meant for you to live to 125. If you have a life threatening illness that you can not afford to pay for treatment, you do not get treatment.
Any criminal act you are found guilty of, results in the maximum penalty, death.
If you tell me the same story more than three times, you have committed a crime, so previous rule.
If the total you paid in social security adds up to a $1.30 because you only made 10 cents a week back in the day, you can only draw a $1.30 from it in retirement. We don�t slave away 60+ hours a week for your wrinkly old asses to sit around a wait to die.
I am sure there are multitudes of other things old people do to ruin our lives that I could bitch about, but I have said enough for now.
All that being said, these rules are null and void once I reach the age of 60 and realize how ignorant I was in my misspent youth.
Until next time kids,
j
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