Poker, Boxing, and a healthy portion of STDs
First, let me put your fears at ease. This entry will not contain the supposed insane ramblings of a 14 year old girl. It will, however, contain the completely incoherent babble of a sexually frustrated man in his late twenties.
Friday night I found myself parked on the sofa waiting impatiently for the return of possibly the best heavy weight fighter in boxing history. As Iron Mike took the ring he looked sharp, ferocious in fact. Sliding across the ring he connected quickly with his patented double jab, right hook combo. His competition, the little known Brit, Danny Williams was momentarily stunned but absorbed the punishment he was being dealt.
I thought, no I prayed, Tyson was finally shaking off the problems his troubled past had given him and was finally becoming the boxer we all knew and loved at the height of his carrier. As round after round went by, I began to feel as though I was hoping against hope. In deed, I was. As the fighters entered the fourth round the strategy of Williams began to take effect. Tyson was showing obvious signs of fatigue and soon began dropping his defenses. A quick combination later and Tyson was looking up at Williams and the ref with his back on the mat. �9�10,� the ref called out. It was over. Another debacle in the life and times of �Iron� Mike Tyson had been written into the history books.
I started off Saturday with the productivity of an �undocumented worker� on an orchard in south Florida. I had finally received the final batch of materials I needed for the regulation 10-man Texas Hold �em poker table I have been planning on constructing. I awoke Saturday morning and promptly made the trip to the Home Depot to get the supplies I would need. A few hours of sawing and stapling and gluing and screaming profanities later, and the table was finally starting to take shape. It being 10,000 degrees with the Heat Index and me looking like a Robin Williams at the end of a 24 hour stand-up marathon, I felt it would be best for all involved if I retired for the day, caught myself a shower and adorned a fresh set of clothes.
Saturday evening brought about a chance for professional boxing to redeem itself in my eyes. The second of two consecutive Pay-Per-Views was scheduled to take place between Erik Morales and Carlos Hernandez. Billed as Mexico versus El Salvador, I somewhat expected to see a hint of explosive, patriotic fighting. Needless to say, I fell asleep from boredom a few rounds into the fight and still have no clue who won.
Sunday I could hardly contain myself as I got back to work on the table. All I had left was to construct the padded vinyl railing that encompasses the perimeter of the table. I got the base cut out fine, but ran into a road block when I was forced to fight the vinyl into submission on the first part of the install. I got through it, installed the railing base to the table, installed the foam padding and when I get home tonight, I will resume my WWF-style wrestling with the vinyl as I attempt to finish the upholstery work needed to give the table that casino look that will surely impress my fellow poker pals, distracting them just enough that I can loot their chips hand after hand.
Here�s that question you�ve all been hearing so much about, question 11
What percentage of the human population is reported to be infected with the STD, Human Papillomavirus?
Have fun,
j
9 people think they have something witty to say about this entry.
