Standing and pissing is the very essence of masculinity.
If you were to gaze upon my desk at various times throughout the week you are likely to find a collection of empty or very near empty bottles glorified tap water. Being both lazy and not very environmentally conscious, I generally leave the bottles lying around until the plastic pyramid I�ve constructed begins to become unstable. Today was one of those days.
In an effort to clear the clutter that is my desk, I took an empty Osco drug bag that previously was the home to my lunch and filled it with the empty bottles and various other scraps of crap that littered my cubicle. I let it sit for a few hours, as all lazy male Americans do, before taking it out to the trash bin located in the alley next to the building where I work.
Needing to mail off a payment to the blood sucking insurance company, I took the opportunity to take out the sack of garbage I had been collecting. Take note, you just witnessed efficiency as taught by the Hotcarl. Never waste a trip to the trash unless you have some other task that will take you along that route, then take advantage and kill two birds with one stone. Back to my tale, I drop the bag in the garbage, walk over to the US postal service blue mail box thing that I am certain houses some sort of evil troll that will eat my hind if I stick it in too far and I hold open the door and hurl the envelope in like an Olympic discus champion. (You like that? See how I made the metaphor relevant to current events� I rule!)
After receiving my gold medal and pausing for the national anthem, I would have waited for the applause but no one was in the stands, I made my way back towards the office. In doing so I witnessed an older gentlemen move for the trash bin I had just vacated moments earlier. He lifted the lid and retrieved the bag I had discarded. Were this man a bum I would probably think nothing of it, but he appeared normal to me. He was dressed in casual attire and had an overall cleanly appearance. After rifling through the bag for a few seconds, he dropped it back in the trash and closed the lid. As he walked away I could see the look of disappointment in his eyes. Apparently he had hoped the bag contained cash, or crack, or the severed head of the Easter bunny. I thought about stopping him and apologizing because I threw the Easter bunny�s head away last week. Had I known he wanted it, I would have saved it for him. I always seem to be making stupid mistakes like that.
In an unrelated story, it never ceases to amaze me what Europeans will do to emasculate themselves. The growing number of �Sitzpinklers,� as they call them, should alarm any self respecting bearer of testicles, but that hasn�t stopped the Germans. Enjoy!
And for all you fans of the Couch-lady, the story continues.
Warcrygirl gets 10 pts for making reference to shit in her answer the other day, I fact I over looked. Anisettekiss gets 15 pts for her answer, it would have been more, but I could get over the complete lack of sexual innuendo in her answer.
The leader board.
Question 18.
Who said it?
Bastard Son of Barney! Die! Die, stuffed ball of fluff! Illegitimate Teletubbie! Die, you Muppet from hell! Die, you foam motherf**cker.
Have fun,
j
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