It rained for 40 minutes and for 40 seconds.
To my dismay, yesterday I awoke to apocalyptic weather conditions, or so it would appear the masses had been led to believe by the astute weather personalities of the greater Kansas City area. In other words, it was raining, not a down poor, nor a drizzle, it was just plain raining. In fairer conditions my 20 mile morning commute takes about 30-45 minutes, but alas the less than impressive weather had caused all manner of transportation in the area to slow to a turtles pace and with it my commute time had increased beyond the fabrics of the space-time continuum.
After sitting in bumper-to-bumper, stop and stop some more traffic I began to wonder, �What manner of carnage must lay ahead for all of these people to be driving so gingerly in such a minute amount of rain? Surely I will get to behold many severed limbs and crushed sport utility vehicles.� After the miles and the minutes passed by ever so slowly I began to wonder if their was any carnage at all ahead and in fact these people may just be so scared, they can�t bear driving over 15 miles an hour. That�s when I saw the cause of our delays.
There on the shoulder of the road was a loan man and his incapacitated vehicle. From what I could surmise, there was nothing special about this man or his vehicle. He was just there changing his tire in the rain. But judging from the suddenly open traffic and our release into higher speeds as we passed him, I could only come to the conclusion that only moments before I arrived at his locale, he must have been changing his tire completely buck naked and been showing passers by his grotesquely large man meat. It would seem I am always a day late and a dollar short.
Having survived the morning trials, I arrived at the office fashionably late. Oh but the fun didn�t end there. You will find as I write and more importantly you read more and more entries, that my arch enemy is a super secret, super evil organization known as SBC. Bent on world domination, a job I am also currently pursuing, they will stop at nothing to squash any that stand in their way.
Late that afternoon, they launched their newest nefarious plot to under mind my chosen profession. If they can�t drive us out of business by selling high-speed DSL services at a loss, they will try to do it by raising our costs to provide service. Tempted as though I might have been to utilize all my mad sick ninja skills and unleash an ass whooping the likes of which the world has never seen upon the hapless SBC salesrep bearing the bad news, I held back. Reflecting on the situation for many moments, I realized I was left with but one course of action and began taking the steps to move what services we still have with the Evil Empire to their competition. Without going into detail, the pawns are in motion and I must now wait for the inevitable response to come.
Until next time kids,
j
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